The Vicious Cycle

While there are both positive and negative aspects of being a restaurant server, sometimes the positive aspects can incite a negative, ‘vicious cycle’ reaction among servers; especially those who have advanced educational backgrounds or other career prospects. When I use the term ‘vicious cycle’, I am referring to the idea of getting trapped in a [subjectively] dead-end job, simply because it brings in a considerable amount of money.

For instance, one of the best things about being a waitress is the large amount of money that can be made with very little effort in a short period of time.

You may think, “How could anyone turn this [clearly] positive aspect of serving into something negative?” Wouldn’t most people jump at the chance to make a lot of ‘easy’ money in just a few short hours? Of course they would. However, when the money flows this easily on the job, it’s almost impossible to move on to something different.

A lot of waitresses become ‘career servers’ because they genuinely enjoy their jobs; but most waitresses I know become ‘career servers’ because they get trapped in a vicious cycle where they can easily fill their wallets in half the time it takes the average worker to do the same.

Servers like me, who have been trying for many years to pursue other job prospects, find it difficult to move in a new direction, because most of the time, the money just doesn’t add up. It’s hard for a server to accept a prospective job that doesn’t pay as well as a waitressing job, because over the years, we’ve become accustomed to making hundreds of dollars in one short shift. So, new job prospects often get pushed aside in favour of continuing on as a server – This is the ‘vicious cycle’.

But, despite the feelings of negativity that can get trapped inside this vicious cycle, I’m hopeful that one day the cycle will break – not only for me, but for any server who is working towards a meaningful career outside the service industry.

Serving isn't my ‘real’ job…

Many restaurant servers find it hard to admit to what they do for a living. Individuals who choose

a career in waitressing have no problem telling people how they make their money; whereas, others – like college or university students, or recent graduates – who merely see their serving jobs as a transition into a more ‘tangible’ career, often make excuses about their employment situation for fear of being judged.

I will grudgingly admit to residing in the latter grouping of servers. When people ask where I work, I often feel embarrassed about being 30 and still working as a waitress. I usually find myself tip-toeing around the answer by saying things like:

• “I’m a full time student;”
• “I teach university students, part-time;” or
• “I’m only a waitress on weekends.”

My co-worker, Shelley:
Unemployed teacher, full-time college student,
and unsatisfied waitress.

Every time these words escape my mouth, I feel a strange combination of relief and guilt. Relief stems from the knowledge that I will eventually leave the service industry (albeit not soon enough). Guilt, on the other hand, arises from the realization that as a server, I’m comfortably able to feed, clothe and house myself, while there are many people who can’t afford to do such things. It seems selfish to complain about working a “lowly” serving job when unemployment rates keep rising.

My point is: Whether you’re a server by choice or by necessity, try to remember that your situation could always be worse. Appreciate what you have now; and then appreciate it even more when you eventually land your dream job. 

Welcome to Serving for the Future

As a Public Relations student, it’s important that I learn the art of communication; blogging seems like a good place to start.

Serving for the Future is my way of communicating the ups, downs and roundabouts of working as a waitress. While some people love serving, others can’t stand it. The thing that separates the lovers from the haters is the answer to the question: why are you a server?

Those who love serving, often choose to pursue it as a career. Why not? There’s a lot of money to be made in a short time; and if you’re a people-person, you can get to know some fascinating people.

Those who hate it are, more often than not, just trying to pay their bills while attempting to launch careers in other industries. For these people, it can be incredibly frustrating to find yourself working the same, menial serving job, month after month – sometimes, year after year – while searching for that breakthrough moment that will launch a fulfilling and lasting career.

While I happen to fall under the latter category, I do enjoy some aspects of being a waitress: I’ve made good money throughout the years, maintained great friendships, and sampled amazing foods.

Over the next eight weeks, I will take you on a journey through my 12 years as a server, covering such topics as: Staying positive in the negative, handling unruly customers, dealing with ‘verbal’ tips, feeling trapped in your job, and the benefits of being a server.

I recommend serving this blog with a glass of merlot. Enjoy!