The Vicious Cycle

While there are both positive and negative aspects of being a restaurant server, sometimes the positive aspects can incite a negative, ‘vicious cycle’ reaction among servers; especially those who have advanced educational backgrounds or other career prospects. When I use the term ‘vicious cycle’, I am referring to the idea of getting trapped in a [subjectively] dead-end job, simply because it brings in a considerable amount of money.

For instance, one of the best things about being a waitress is the large amount of money that can be made with very little effort in a short period of time.

You may think, “How could anyone turn this [clearly] positive aspect of serving into something negative?” Wouldn’t most people jump at the chance to make a lot of ‘easy’ money in just a few short hours? Of course they would. However, when the money flows this easily on the job, it’s almost impossible to move on to something different.

A lot of waitresses become ‘career servers’ because they genuinely enjoy their jobs; but most waitresses I know become ‘career servers’ because they get trapped in a vicious cycle where they can easily fill their wallets in half the time it takes the average worker to do the same.

Servers like me, who have been trying for many years to pursue other job prospects, find it difficult to move in a new direction, because most of the time, the money just doesn’t add up. It’s hard for a server to accept a prospective job that doesn’t pay as well as a waitressing job, because over the years, we’ve become accustomed to making hundreds of dollars in one short shift. So, new job prospects often get pushed aside in favour of continuing on as a server – This is the ‘vicious cycle’.

But, despite the feelings of negativity that can get trapped inside this vicious cycle, I’m hopeful that one day the cycle will break – not only for me, but for any server who is working towards a meaningful career outside the service industry.

Staying Positive in the Negative

Working as a waitress can sometimes turn a positive mood into a negative mood. That’s not to say that every serving shift will break your spirit, otherwise, no sane person would ever consider waiting tables for a living. But there are several aspects of restaurant life that contribute to negative attitudes among staff members.

Here, I will outline three specific factors that often affect my mood as a server, and how to [try and] turn their effects from negative to positive.

1. Negative co-workers.

Even if you go to work feeling great about life, when your co-workers are grouchy, your mood will undoubtedly drop to a new level of low. We won’t always know what outside factors have contributed to a co-worker’s pessimistic disposition, but we can try to turn their mood around before their negativity rubs off onto the rest of the serving staff.

It’s far too easy to fall into a co-worker’s cynical trap, so try to stop their bad behaviour by telling an uplifting story or a positive joke; the rest of the servers will silently thank you for doing this.

2. Rude customers.

One of the biggest mood killers in the restaurant industry is rudeness. Servers make their living by waiting on other people; but some customers seem to confuse the term ‘server' with ‘servant’. When your section of the restaurant is filled with rude customers, it can definitely trigger negativity in your own demeanour.

If being friendly and helpful to your customers doesn’t change their attitude, try to keep your head high and remind yourself that dining times are averaged at an hour and a half; so they won’t be in your presence for much longer.

3. Terrible tips.

It’s hard not to feel bad about yourself when customers aren’t tipping well; after all, waitresses work for tips. When the cycle of bad tipping doesn’t seem to change directions, servers can feel anything from sad to angry.

Even though you can’t tell a customer how much they’re supposed to tip, you can be the bigger person by smiling politely and secretly wishing for karmic revenge. All jokes aside, try to grin and bear your terrible tips because at some point in the near future, you will serve a wonderful customer who will lift your mood and expand your wallet.

Click here to find out more about how to stay positive in negative work situations. 

Thank you for reading Serving for the Future.

**Warning: This video contains explicit language**

The Demanding Customer

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. But as the level of romance rises, so does the level of customer demands.

Along with New Years Eve, and Mother’s Day, February 14th is the busiest night for dining out. More often than not, restaurant servers choose to forego their own Valentine’s plans in favour of working. People who haven’t experienced Valentine’s Day as a waiter or waitress might be thinking, Why would anyone choose to subject themselves to demanding diners on the most romantic day of the year? There’s only one simple answer to this question: Money.

However, even though servers have the ability to make a good living on Valentine’s Day, the money doesn’t always come easily. Servers have to work hard to earn tips on February 14th by putting up with a lot of customer demands. Everyone wants the most romantic Valentines experience in hopes of impressing their significant others; and as servers, we have to go above and beyond the call of duty to meet their demands.

To intensify an evening of romance, demanding customers want the best table with maximum ambience, the best bottle of champagne at a reasonable price, and premiere service with a great deal of privacy.

To waiters and waitresses, demanding customers appear annoyingly arrogant and supremely stubborn – especially on Valentine’s Day. But if you are able to look beyond your customers’ egos and make them feel special by giving in to [at least some of] their requests, at the end of the day, you just might find your pockets lined with wads of green, red and brown paper.

Serving isn't my ‘real’ job…

Many restaurant servers find it hard to admit to what they do for a living. Individuals who choose

a career in waitressing have no problem telling people how they make their money; whereas, others – like college or university students, or recent graduates – who merely see their serving jobs as a transition into a more ‘tangible’ career, often make excuses about their employment situation for fear of being judged.

I will grudgingly admit to residing in the latter grouping of servers. When people ask where I work, I often feel embarrassed about being 30 and still working as a waitress. I usually find myself tip-toeing around the answer by saying things like:

• “I’m a full time student;”
• “I teach university students, part-time;” or
• “I’m only a waitress on weekends.”

My co-worker, Shelley:
Unemployed teacher, full-time college student,
and unsatisfied waitress.

Every time these words escape my mouth, I feel a strange combination of relief and guilt. Relief stems from the knowledge that I will eventually leave the service industry (albeit not soon enough). Guilt, on the other hand, arises from the realization that as a server, I’m comfortably able to feed, clothe and house myself, while there are many people who can’t afford to do such things. It seems selfish to complain about working a “lowly” serving job when unemployment rates keep rising.

My point is: Whether you’re a server by choice or by necessity, try to remember that your situation could always be worse. Appreciate what you have now; and then appreciate it even more when you eventually land your dream job.